The Clarinet, the Clarinet, goes doodly doodly det.

Sometimes when you are high, you get a hunger for hearing the clarinet. It is like another sense or necessity that you need to fulfill to survive. Just like food, sleep, warmth, water, love, along with those is hearing the clarinet. If this were the Sims, one of the bars would be clarinet music, and you would have to fulfill that every once in while.

The Origin of Species

You could put anything in the world on sale and someone would buy it. As long as you have good marketing you could sell anything and someone would buy it.You could take a piece of shit and put a price tag and someone would buy it. If you had a clever commercial someone would out there would buy that piece of shit. And that rolls back to the fact that they sale that much stuff that is composed of poop. They are selling our own human excrement back to us. We literally buy our own poop. We buy what we get for free every morning when they wake up and once right when they get home from school and they almost poop their pants when they are running down the hall pulling their pants pants down it always is the hardest shit holdings in you life. There was always two kind of people in the world. There are the people who would poop in public places like its not that big of a deal, and there are the people who would only poop in a public place if their butthole deppended on it. Those are the two most basic ways of separating the human species.

¡Snooooorrrrrrlax!

In my first attempt at starting a post, I became very sleepy to the point that if my staying awake to typing ratio were comparable, it would be like catching a Mewtwo at 1/16 health with a Great Ball. In turn, I leave you fellas with this...good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow. Quite.

Who writes this shit?

Shup^2

Tell us who the author of the post is in the beginning dammit, and use labels.
-Shup Shup out

Tidbits, the Time Traveling Ape... From Hell

If someone says they are atheist, for them to truly believe that there is no God, would be to accept that there would also be no hell. Under these circumstances, we can infer that atheists don’t believe in hell. So when you hear an atheist say “go to hell” they probably don’t fully understand or believe atheism. Because they have been exposed to the language and religion that has led them to believe that heaven and hell exist. So a true atheist would without a thought, naturally know not to say “go to hell” because they know for a fact that heaven and hell are not real. Which comes to another point, not only do atheists know that there is no god, but Mormons and many other religious groups “know” that they do exist. That is like something having two different factual statements about them with two completely contradictory true meanings.

How great were the times when people actually kicked the dirt when they were upset and they thought that was an appropriate display of their affections of discontent. We don’t have that feeling anymore, I feel that a great part of this was in the 90’s. Those years really brought to us the most unique and fucked up shit in all existence. I feel like I am discovering a whole new 90’s discovery even though I lived it and learned much from it, I never was watching it as the changes happened. I wasn’t aware of different trends when I was young. There was one trend, and that’s all we knew. When you are young you are not aware of different styles of clothes because you only know what you have seen in your short life. Now that I am older, I am watching movies and learning stuff about the 90’s and there is so much culture and uniqueness to that generation. Like when I was younger than I am now, I watched much of the 80’s movies and learned about the culture, because it was aged enough to want to learn about it. Now that I am a few years older though, the 90’s have gotten farther away so they have aged enough for me to want to discover them and reminisce with those feelings.

Shit My Dad Says Volume 1

The following events took place at 3:30 p.m. on Thursday February 12, 2011.

Dad: A hundred bucks, ha ha, ha ha. Oh ho. We got something from the DMBA. You have been approved for 200 dollars more on your retirement. Hey, here it is Denille. You have been approved for two hundred dollars, wait a minute it’s a bill.

Mom: It’s not a bill; it’s probably a claim for your masks you never wear.

Dad: I know, I’m gonna sell them on eBay. I can buy them for 17 bucks and sell them for 200.

Mom: After you’ve worn them and used them?

Dad: No, I haven’t opened them. I’m gonna sell em.

Mom: Oh that’s real honest.

Dad: Honest? Well they're cheating us 200 bucks a month, it’s like even Steven.

Mom: How are they cheating you 200 bucks a month? You’re the one who decided to retire when you retired, dumb man.

Dad: They promised us the same insurance and they jipped us every week.

Mom: Well why don’t you pursue it more?

Dad: I called them and gave them all hell and heck and shit, and they said: “oh we’re really sorry” (in a funny voice)

Mom: If you hadn’t taken your retirement we would’ve been fine.

Dad: I know, I wanna hear this discussion again

Mom: Well, don’t blame...

Dad: Hey look, there’s a tree growing out of the neighbors house. Look, right on top.

Mom: Don’t blame it on something that it’s not what it is.

Dad: Sorry. I’m so sorry, Charlie. What month is this?

Mom: We better start figuring out what were going to do for insurance come January.

Dad: *inaudible mumbling* I know, were gonna be on Alex’s plan at Sherwin Williams

What Is This Mess?

Seriously, one of these days we really need to think about cleaning up.

And I don't know about this multi-dimensional talk.

But lets break things down, alright.

Why is P.D doing a great Wolverine impression?

I just realized I have a hat on, I would have to infer that this hat is comfortable.

Masterson has a weird voice sometimes, then he says, "I'm so baked" funny guy

Bread is good eat it more.

Kenyan Trebeck?

Jon Stewart has a funny face.

Masterson is being weighted down by metal crafted into a weight of sorts.

Korean baby boomers.

-oh man spacing is weird
I have to go on a mission

What's the Elvish word for friend? Pricing!

So I finally understand this pricing strategy. The one where software websites sell their software and it says to pay a year price of something like $40 but have one that says lifetime and it’s only $50. So let me explain how I understand it. So they do that so they can make the software seem like it is worth more. So you think wow, forty every year or buy it once for just a little more. Obviously very few are going to buy the annual fee software so they squeeze out an extra few dollars by showing what a good deal it is.

I actually got duped into this software, but it gets to a point where you don't want to fork out the full price so you pay $30 for an annual software but it is only part of the software. This is the most genius pricing strategy. Props to TuneUp on this one. It really is pricing at its highest form of monetizing glory.

This is an example of the pricing strategy:

http://www.tuneupmedia.com/download.php

Reddit

I finally understand Reddit. The reason why you see so much "reposting" on Reddit is because Reddit is a full cycle and goes on forever. One person originally posts something, and as people slowly see it later in time, someone else will see that post and they will try to share it with others in a different medium. Then someone in the other medium will see that post and share it with another network and eventually it will come back to Reddit as time goes by and eventually every story will infinitely go on forever slowly making its cycle back into the "repost" vortex.

It's Not a Mine, It's a Tomb!

People from third world countries aren't able to have as deep of dreams or views of what a "heaven" would be. Because they don't experience as massive of a world that we see so they have no idea what they world offers because it's like those things don't exist to them. If someone was born into a white empty room and they were raised from birth inside this room and were only fed and cleaned and taken the least amount of affection or care for the child and no words were to be spoken to the child as it grew. That child would have absolutely no comprehension of the massive world because we only know about wild thoughts and visions of heaven or lots of money or knowledge of the world, because that child would never know of those things, they couldn't dream because they wouldn't know anything but what their minds could create, which would be absolute nil because they hadn't experienced anything to add to their knowledge. It would be like the math problem, 0 times 0 equals 0. No knowledge multiplied by no knowledge equals no knowledge.

The Importance of Being Ernest Goes to Camp

I can’t remember a damn thing every time I think it resets into a different memory and everything is numb and I feel like I can see a terrorist looking guy. And oh my heck my hands are so numb I can’t even believe it (broken English accent) oh my hells the typing is the craziest thing in the whole world. Oh my heacck, so much death. No parent should have to bury their child. Gandalf then says some weird stuff I can’t hardly understand. Oh man, Peter Jackson is starting to get fat again. You know he is going to pull out the barefoot business when he slowly morphs back into 2001 Peter Jackson. He was so big and fat, then he got so skinny. He looked like a dwarf before and then like a real young hip New Zealander. I want to live in New Zealand so bad. I have so much respect for a country like that. Also the Netherlands, where I saw this video on YouTube linked to Reddit, it was this bicycle only part of Utrecht Netherlands where there was only bicycles but it was insanely efficient and not one person, and I mean not one person is wearing a helmet. The word wearing looks so sad. Like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. It looks like that. When you look at words from far away you think it is a novel but it’s not. It is just some crap you have been typing that doesn’t make any sense and for one second you didn’t realize it and so you thought you were a good writer even though it was just your crapily written journal. I just pictured this Playstation game that my Brother in Law Mark had when he first got his Playstation and it was over at his brown apartment just off of Fort Union. It had some like yellow truck things and the game was just a demo though. This is the longest paragraph of all time. Tiny tin bad lands hairy chest but it’s really hair not chest but now it’s Diamonds are Forever the James Bond film where it was Sean Connery’s last Bond film. How Google dig, digg, dugg, flashing like eye things where sometimes when you are just staring up at the lights and you see those magenta and bright green things that bounce around in your eyesight for a while but there is nothing there it is just something with your brain that now I am listening to the Jupiter song by Haulst. Think about how crazy I just lost my train of thought. My wrists are so freaking numb right now I can’t type very coherently. Let by gones be bye gones. What word would you use in that sentence? By or Bye? Because what is the meaning of “by or bye” in that colloquialism expression? Is it by or Bye? Because it is difficult to tell exactly what it is supposed to mean. Such as, would you be saing bye to your gones? Or is it like by the gones? Like it is “by” the gones, as in over there, by the gones. What does that even mean? I just thought of Home Alone right now. Because of the music I heard but also the fact that I watched a video on YouTube about Home Alone, which someone spoofed off of the first Home Alone movie. My fingers are getting so heavy that I can’t take it anymore. The E.T. the Extra Terrestrial credits song moves me so deeply. Such a good soundtrack I can’t even comprehend how advanced that man’s brain is. John Williams is a modern day Bach or Beethoven. I almost typed that he was “John Williams is a modern day John Williams” or like saying “Bach is a modern day John Williams”. I just lulled so hard a second ago. At my own thing I typed. How pathetic is that? I really wish that the English language used the question marks at the beginning and end like in the Spanish language. So you know right at the beginning you know that it is a question. Instead of waiting until the sentence is over to know that it is a question. That there shows how flawed your language is when there is no computer or any rules in the language that could tell you 100% that if it was a question or not. Why did we have to get this language when the people made the tower of Babel and they shot an arrow at god and it made him mad so he crushed the tower and everyone got a different language so they couldn’t understand each other? And so no one could communicate with one another. But if you think about it, they must have had to had to learn another person’s language that they couldn’t understand. Or they would be complete animals. Just trying to service the basic needs of a being. To eat, drink, and mate. So they would have to learn another language to fulfill the mating part. So right there a language would have been lost. That original language would somehow mix with another and one would be lost. The person who spoke the original language would speak the other he learned so he would lose it. And that would have happened with each pair of languages. So for each pair, half of the languages were lost automatically. So we originally lost half of all languages within only a very short period of time.

Now I never have learned much about religion, but it is just such a crafty thought on how the world started. Like I totally believe in Evolution but how did we get different languages? Like when people first started, they moved to different parts of the world and being separated from different people and so there were all these scattered out groups of cave men. And they all learned to start communicating slowly by first learning sign language, then later down the slow evolutionary process, they start making sounds and words and finally later down evolution they start to have a official language with an alphabet etc. That is how different languages started as they learned to communicate differently in different parts because it was the first time being invented so languages were inventions of man. That just explained it. That is how languages came to be. I understand it. The god doing it version is just a lazy version if you think about it. That is exactly what religion is all about. It takes life, and tries to make it easier by telling you there is a reward if you follow what they say. But religion does that for everything. It makes for an easier explanation. Like look how complicated the billions of years of evolutionary change that life experienced as we evolved from cells to fish to monkeys to people. And the religious point of view on the subject: God did it. How did we get the golden gate bridge? God did it. How did we “God did it” Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting god. Interrupting gaw—God did it. I am pretty sure that is the greatest joke that ever was told. Religion totally makes everything just an easier explanation. And that is because we as humans don’t like complication. When we see something that off puts us because we think it is too complex? We freak out and want it to be far away from us. So with religion we want something that makes us feel that feeling. Like everything doesn’t need to be so complicated. Just make it simpler. So why not make up this guy who is all powerful and all knowing and say he created everyone and he is a superior creature above all of us, but he is also a human at the same time. But how can you explain “god” to a god? You can’t. Because you can’t explain something all powerful and all knowing to someone who is also that. That would be like two gods creating their whole existence and there would be multiple, or even infinite number of existences. So not only is there an infinite amount of space, how crazy is that to think. But also there is an infinite number of alternate existences or universes per se. So at any point, because there is an infinite amount of possible existences so if you think about it, there is always every possible combination of time person, place, what they are saying, they are all going on in at least one of those universes or existences. So that is how time travel is possible. Because if you find a warp hole in space, it is the one link between different universes or existences. So you could go into the warp hole and it would transfer you to a different world, but it could look ever so slightly like the same universe but it would be a different universe that was slightly similar because there are an infinite number of universes, but so this one would look similar but be different than the one that if that person didn’t go into the warp and lived that life. It would be an ever so slight different existence than the other one.

Mr. Rogers is Our Future

Well only for two more minutes. It’s 11:58, so it’s almost tomorrow. But it doesn’t matter. So I better actually has it as 11.5.2. because there is already one for the previous day. You can’t even imagine the amount of information that is taken in each day by someone under the circumstances that we are in at the current moment. If you could just record the feeling that you have, you would just lose your mind which I am doing so bad right now. Kerpluffkins are the way you want to live your life because everything feels so out of this world, like the little town in Mr. Rogers show. The little model town at the beginning with the trains and such. The little model people. That’s what right now feels like. I don’t know how to describe it. But as you can see, the mind and thoughts just jump around. I can’t believe how good it feels right now. This should be documented more wide spread over a very large market of people so they can show a strong diversity of candidates. I am having a hard time keeping a consistent train of thought. There is no can’t remember what I was thinking. I can’t keep a train of thought, and I mean no train of thought.

It’s a trap. My brain is suffering from brain anesthesiology. Spies like them. The faces on spy vs. spy are weird. The mouths are up on the side of the head and it is still a full mouth but it sis supposed to look like the.

Happy Thanksgiving Pilgrims. Do you ever just crack yourself up with something you think of or would say in a situation. The fact that you can laugh at a simple idea that you harbor from your mind. And just thinking about it can make you laugh. Instead of having to see it or see it. So slap stick comedy, to ha ha he he funny, word comedy. And in between those types of movies is the Madea movies that Tyler Perry makes every year and somehow people still go and see those awful awful movies. I just had a vision that I was back in the 50’s. Movies that you really feel a part of that are involved in the 50’s just give me super goose bumps. I respect that time period, I love it. So many great movies about that time period. It is always in some super respectful time pieces. Like the Iron Giant or Back to the Future.

Think about this thought for one second. Completely forgot about what I was saying. There was a pretty big gap in time from the last paragraph before this. I am downloading Beetlejuice right now. I have never seen that movie before so I am getting it to see inside my head.

Last time I was reading this stuff while typing, when I took my eyes off the screen for a moment and then looked back onto it, I felt the feeling of not understanding a language so it just looks like shapes with no meaning to you. So you feel like when you were a little baby and you couldn’t read or communicate so when you saw words, you would not understand them at all. I felt that feeling when I looked at the words. Lokded looks like it is dwarfish. That is the best name. It looks like a dinosaur semi truck. That is what dwarfish looks like or a duck on its back.

South Park is the best show in the fifth dimension in 3D. I never could notice the actual cut out paper that is just for South Park. But I can see it now.

South Park doesn’t really have sound effects. It is only the few people talking at once. But never a crowd of people, just them talking. No loud sounds, or maybe I am just losing it and I don’t realize all these things I am talking about.

The worst thing you could say to someone is “You look like a reader”. So what that is saying is they look ugly so they probably don’t have a lot of friends, and it is very common among people without lots of friends that they read a lot.

My version of hell would be to be in the Mission Impossible game on N64 at the train station where you have to shoot the bad people, but you can’t shoot the civilians. So Hell would be that level over and over again and if you shot the civilians you would get burned. But that level always sucked because you couldn’t kill anybody. So living that over and over again would be torture or Hell if I might say.

Get Smart with John Williams

If you think about it, each day is a tomorrow because it once was a tomorrow at one point in its life. So when you are specifying a time that someone asked you “what day are we going to the beach?” and you say: “tomorrow.” That doesn’t clarify what day you really are talking about, because every day was once a tomorrow. So every day before the current day is and was a tomorrow, not just the next day, because the current day was a tomorrow yesterday. Which brings me to my next point: don’t smoke crack.

How did we start being able to be smart? The way we learn now and become more intelligent, we read books that people wrote in the past and you familiarize yourself with the words and you keep reading more and more books and you continue to learn more words and phrases and you just keep learning, but remember this is from something written in the past, and the people who wrote those books learned from someone else who did the same thing as they did and you are doing now, but as the cycle of that continued backwards in time, it eventually had to go back to the first set of people: how did those people learn? They didn’t have previous ancestors to learn from. They had no books to read. They had to invent everything that they did. There was no “Walking for Dummies” book for the original man. They had to invent walking, breathing, eating, multiplying, fucking. And as time has gone on, everything has been invented, so as time continues fewer and fewer things are a first and fewer inventions are born into infinite, but as infinite slows down and stops nothing can be invented anymore because everything possible to be invented has already been invented past infinity. So in this day and age when people say something is “so unoriginal” or “so original” they are total “uh duh” moments. Because obviously those are obvious statements. Everything has already been invented because we are past infinity and nothing is original anymore, it has already been invented.

I was upstairs making some miracle and cheese sandwiches while I was listening to the Olympic Theme song by John Williams, and I felt like I was winning the gold medal and making sandwiches. John Williams you’ve done it again. I belt John Williams wrote the music to when “god” “created” the earth. The man can do no wrong. He wrote every song on the “Best of John Williams” compilation cd.

I feel like I have super hearing when I am r/trees. The level of sound I can experience and be shown through my soul is unbeweavable.

The guy in the Beach is the same evil villain in The World is Not Enough.

“The Beach” is a total mind fuck movie. Check it out.

You Don't Know Me, You Only Know What You Think You Know About Me

How strange are the different levels of friendship we have with each other. Like how some of your relationships can be so deep, even though you may never have even ever spoken with each other. Like my relationship with my girlfriends mom is so deep and we both have love for each other. But we don’t really know each other; we have never really had a conversation. Like there is just this archaic natural instinct inside of us that has that love can be shown and grown through the air. We just have a picture in our heads what we think we feel about them, so it’s like we had the … can’t remember.

How great is the characterness of our group of friends. Jake, Abel, Garret, Jon, Alex, Becca, Taylor, Stuart, Cheese, etc. Each one of these individuals is so completely unique in so many ways that there is just a perfect mix of different persona's. But then at the same time, we are all exactly the same. Like each one of us could have done or said each thing that is said.

Star Wars is Better Than Your Mom!

Do you remember the poster for the Phantom Menace where little Annie is walking all chill away from his sand hut with his backpack on just one shoulder and his shadow was a figure of Darth Vader?

I remember at the time I thought that was the greatest thing known to mankind. But now that that I think about it and it's not that great. How terrible is a movie if when going into it you know the plot and what is to happen, you just haven't experienced the journey along the way to get to the fourth film.

That poster sucks. It just sums up all three prequels in one frame. They should just have made that poster instead of the three prequels.

this shit is legit

The following thoughts are brought to you directly from my head. no notepad and reread then post. this shit is legit.

The elves in the lord of the rings books represent a lot. in my opinion here are the things i precieved them to be.

1. they are what humans would have become if adam and eve had not commited original sin.
2. A representation of humans if they could free their mind and unleash its true power. imagine a world where you had the ability to control every cell in your body. would it feel any different to us now? do animals feel less alive because they are not self aware so they miss out on a whole dimension of life. Life is like walking through a fun house. you will not be able to see and remember every mirror image while you walk through, but you will still be in each mirror regardless if you see it or not. therefore you being in a mirror is like precieving a reality.
3. i believe the world would be a better place if there were four races like in lord of the rings.

Commericals are crazy. the fact that commericials dictate television shows speaks volumes about our culture. (at about this point in the night i would ask garrett who this rant is made possible by and he would answer back with wood connection furniture, of course) i remember the reason i started righting tonight. i had a mental flashback to the days 4 years ago when me, bonaparte, and chelllickton would play halo 3 non stop. Halo 3 was a very important videogame in my videogame playing career. I believe it is one of the best games of all time. i can not tell you all the memories i have of playing capture the flags and slayer games into the late night. Bonaparte and Chellickton would bring their own xboxs over and we would have 3 tvs in one room. those were such good times. Sometimes Breesh would bring his own monitor and play too. The times of Halo 3 also bring back the memory of Dcafs. or Diablo internet Cafes. i believe these started our senior year of highschool and went in and out of popularity among our group of 4 until our second year of college. We went through diablo and halo in waves. first was diablo, then when halo 3 came out we probably played it for a solid year until we got back into Diablo again. We would make "sev runs" in the night to get snacks and we would play the game until 5 or 6 in the mornings sometimes. Everyone had a mf sorc. and mf runs became more fun than the quest to do ubers. i love those times of my life and i am glad that i can recall them and enjoy them now. our memories are an awesome thing but getting stuck in them is not good either. it is important to keep a good balance. all parts of life should be lived and then later enjoyed through memory.

- From the brain of Floyd Masterson.

Business Idea

Great business idea I just had, ARE YOU READY? I would make a candy that people would enjoy when they are high. Focus groups and surveys would be taken to see what people think tastes best when they are high. And get a consensus and cater the candy to taste to what would fulfill the preferred tastes to those who get high. Then market the candy on the internet and do a big media blitz and get mad amounts of publicity and word of mouth threw the internet. Then you would just ride the train selling the candy in stores would cost way to much money to get nationwide. So you eventually try to get a partnership with a certain store (e.g. Starbucks) to get in stores to build more momentum. This would help get you up the ladder quickly and you would not have to invest all that money to start up the candy. Once you got into Starbucks, you then would start banking some mad money and maybe enough to start to get into national grocery stores. You would start small with a few moderately small more local grocery stores. Keep the momentum flowing to the more national chains like Target. Then you would finally get your goal of being an exclusive product to Wal-Mart. And the people of Wal-Mart will pay some huge fee to you to have the your product exclusively at their stores. Then you sell out, because that’s what life is all about. We are the product of selling out. When you sell out this time, you sell your rights to the candy to Wal-Mart or some other company and retire.

Spree are better than sweettarts

Do you know the feeling that you get when you see a pack of sweettarts, and for that one second you think to yourself “are those spree?” And then you realize that they are not in fact spree but simply sweettarts; but then your body and mind bite the bullet and give in and outcries the feeling of: sweettarts are better than nothing. Thus begins the eating of said sweettarts.